This is all so sad. I wish I knew more about Matt’s life…because what I’ve read about, and what I seen in the few films of his that I have seen…seem so at odds that it’s almost as if Matt and Danny are totally different people altogether!

R.I.P. Matt…I hope you’ve found the peace and tranquility which eluded you in life!

Fact: Matt was a sweet guy that got caught up in all the partying and drugs that come with being a “porn star” The night he died he ingested too many drugs that didn’t mix. Was it intentional or just one stupid ass mistake? Did someone spike his alcohol with too much G?

It’s hard to say when an ex is trying to put some of the blame on a Porn Studio saying Matt was emotionally off balanced. That suggests that he took his own life but then he hints it was just prescription drugs mixed with the street drugs.

I actually read from Gaywired that Matt died in Sacramento. Then someone posts he died at the ex’s home in SF. Talk about just not knowing anything about this whole situation.

No obituary and no funeral from the family.

Makes you wonder if the guy is even dead. Not even a mention about this so called memorial that is suppose to take place this month. All just a fucked up situation. Actually a bit mystery.

My money is on the fact that there won’t even be a release of the actual cod because everyone close to the situation knows certain other things and they just want this to all go away.

Still can’t get over how the ex has suddenly disapeared from saying much after being seen at Folsom partying after bitching about how rough porn life is.

Just a fucked up situation.

This couple had a toxic relationship which lead to one of them overdosing on drugs at Darin’s home at 15 Amber Drive in Diamond Heights thursday morning.

Everyone has seen Darin out partying since the death. He has obviously moved on from the tragedy rather quickly and I assume still a heavy drug user.

Very sad all around.

Oh, why do you make it so easy?

Most importantly I want to say how sorry I am for this loss. Matt was a beautiful man both inside and out. This whole situation is so tragic. Yes, it was avoidable but there really was only one party that could have stopped this whole process and that was Matthew himself. I don\’t mean that in a cruel way. I mean that in a very compassionate way. Everyone needs to stop blaming themselves or pointing a finger at others. I\’d bet anything that Matthew would tell you that himself if he could.

I understand Darins grieving process. I admire his complete honesty in all of this. It\’s hard to have to admit that your own actions didn\’t help the situation out. I\’m sure there was no way for Darin to realize that it would all come crashing down to the point of death. Thats something none of us likes to entertain in our minds. When it does happen, it\’s only natural to start pointing fingers. At first we blame ourselves but then the blame moves on to others. I guess it\’s our way of psychologically saying indirectly that the entire world was a part of this loss. I think sometimes that thought process is avoidable.

However, my challenge to all parties involved in this is to be real honest. Darin mentions an uncomfortable working situation on the film \”Hostile\” and thats fair enough. What doesn\’t make sense, and I mean no disrespect, is the fact that if this film was one of your first products in the industry and you weren\’t comfortable with the situation, why did you remain in the industry? Pointing out questionable situations on set from 2 years ago might not seem as legit if nothing was mentioned back then and you remained in the Industry after that. If you had a mental breakdown from that situation why would you ever go back to that type of work?

Everything is about choices in life and in this case Darin and Matt made the choice to continue in the Porn Industry. So it would be understandable if people might not buy the complaints now.

On behalf of the entire Porn Industry I have to say that ALL newcomers are made highly aware of the temptations they will face. This includes the partying. Again, this comes down to choices. You ultimately make the choice. Addictive and out of control behavior is easily noticed but we have to be honest with ourselves and care enough about ourselves to admit we are heading for a crash and burn type of situation. I\’m sure Darin would agree that there were plenty enough warning signs before that fateful night. Is Colt Studios at fault?

It\’s really hard to blame a corporation if the performer showed up for work and was a professional. If the rumors Colt heard involved the performers personal love life how could they have fairly evaluated the situation? To be fair, there aren\’t many people that like to hear about drama like that. Who can honestly say that a situation like that is going to have this type of result? A person can be a good listener. Give some healthy advice on how to extinguish a toxic situation and let them know they are always there for them. There is no doubt that now, after the fact, that they wish they had been a little bit more observant and offered some type of emotional help. I think giving to Charity in rememberance of Matt proves this.

I\’m sure Darin is also trying to figure out what he could have done differently as well. No one wants to believe someone is legitimately cracking up right in front of them. To a certain degree we are all control freaks and I\’m sure both Matt and Darin believed they had things under control. Admitting you don\’t have full control is a sign of weakness to some. It\’s hard to admit we are weak.

Is it Colts fault Matt was doing drugs? No. Was it Darins fault? No. It was Matts fault. Matt ultimately made the choice to mask the pain with drugs. Could Darin have stopped him? No. Was it up to Darin to drag Matt to get professional help? Unfortunately, the answer is probably yes. If Matt had gotten to the point where he couldn\’t make rational choices on his own.

To Colts credit I am sure right from the beginning they laid it all out there and expressed those temptations that could become a problem. If it were not avoidable wouldn\’t we be reading about this type of tragic result daily? Some will be able to handle it and others won\’t. There is no new lesson to learn there. That has been a known fact in life all along.

Should Matt have been asked to go to Brazil at an emotional time in his life? It\’s hard to make a call on that if Matt himself gave the impression to Colt that he could do the project. Darin should understand this as well. The best example comes from Darin himself.

He admits he asked Matt if everything was ok before that fateful night. This was after Matts last project. He says that Matt himself said everything was ok. What he also states is that later on in the evenings Matts actions suggested differently when he would text message comments like.. \”SAVE ME\”

I hate to say it but thats as loud and clear of a message you are ever going to get when it comes to something like this. The choice to deal with a message like that was up to Darin. Not Colt. Theres that word again. CHOICE.

If you really thought Matt was psychologically off balance the concession would be that Matt probably was not in a healthy state to evaluate his emotional well being at that moment. A grave error was made by not seeking out any help at that moment. Darin do not beat yourself up over that choice. You could have never known what the final result would have been. However, you now bare the burden of realizing the initial choice to deal with that situation was not the best choice. It wasn\’t Colts mistake it was yours. My heart goes out to you having to carry that. You also admit Matt was manipulating the whole situation out of survival instinct. So there you go.

Matt instictively knew early on he was digging himself deeper and deeper. Matt brought himself to the moment of incoherrent behavior that resulted in a mis-calculation of dossages. Not Darin, not Colt, and not his friends.

Colt might have handled things a bit different in regard to dealing with this tragic loss but they are not responsible for this loss. Darin already admits the huge mistakes he himself has made but ultimately Matthew/Danny Roddick made all the choices.

So stop blaming one another for this tragedy. Stop fighting. If you need to be angry at someone then be angry for a bit at Matthew for the choices he made. Forgive him. Embrace the beautiful memories of him. Learn the real lessons. Drugs will destroy your life. On that fateful night no one but Matt made the wrong choice. Don\’t beat yourself up for not stepping in early on. You could have never known it would end like this. Just make sure that there isn\’t a next time and you make the right CHOICES in life.

This isn\’t written to side with Colt nor is it written to side with Darin. It\’s written to help all those grieving to realize the blame game should be let go. Colt I hope, for as much as they may be hurt over the finger pointing, will reach out to Darin. In the process hopefully Darin will begin to realize Colt would never intentionally harm Matthew or put him in a situation where more harm would apply. Be there for one another.

My heart goes out to everyone. R.I.P Matt. I forgive you. I will never forget you.