May

9

Steve Cruz on “Sex Shame”

May 9, 2008 |

[Edits 6:45pm.] Click over to the blog belonging to pornster Steve Cruz and the Tuesday, May 4 entry titled “Commercial Break: whatever!” (or click here). Mr. Cruz is responding to an anonymously posted comment praising his physical beauty and then lamenting that he “fell into the porn trap.” Periodically we also receive email of this sort, usually when we write about a porn actor who decides to step outside the box and try music, acting or modeling. “Maybe someday you will wise up and do something with class,” writes Mr. Cruz’ non-admirer. Click here for the rest of the complaint and Mr. Cruz’ response…

Here is the original email complaint in full (no editing): “I just wondered how you can sit and BS everyone. You talk about being spritable. You get fucked for money. Your nothing but a whore. I know this is harsh but every friend I have had who has gone into porn has got HIV and Hep C. I do not understand it. Your a beautiful man I have met you before and I use to think your were hot but now when I see you i feel sick. Maybe I am not a sex pig because there is more to me then my dick. I am sorry you fell into the porn trap. Maybe someday you will wise up and do something with class.”

“I’m not living in a delusion,” Mr. Cruz replies. “I knew and considered heavily before I entered this business, the consequence of being an available target for the judgmental and the self righteous and the bored. I am putting myself naked out into the world…and I know that can be offensive to some. A fully integrated human being is just as much his sexuality as his spirituality. Just because I make porn doesn’t make me any less spiritual. And just because I get a paycheck after a scene, it doesn’t make me any less a person.”

He also slams the notion that HIV and Hep C are related to making porn. “Every film I star in is a safe sex film, and with most of my colleagues its the same thing. I launched HowIRoll.info with my own money because I saw a trend of unsafe sex happening out there in the real world, and I hoped I could make an impact. At the very least, inspire a dialogue.”

I’ve often pondered the striking disconnect among a certain contingent of porn fans who simultaneously praise and disparage their erotic idols out of one side of their mouth or the other. “You don’t have to be a sex pig to enjoy sex,” Mr. Cruz notes. “I’m not encouraging anyone to be like me. I’m an entertainer! But if you are a sex pig, a sex worker, a whore or just a real person that wants to cut loose every once in a while, you don’t have to subscribe to the shame and the negativity that other people feel. If others have judgments about how sex should be, that belongs to them—not you! Their shame is like a spell you don’t have to fall under.”

In February 2007, in the wake of the Bryan Kocis murder, I took some heat for defending Brent Corrigan (click here and scroll down) because it bothers me that a cottage industry seems to have sprung up for the sole purpose of cutting him down. I make no excuses for the mistakes he’s made and for the lapses in judgment he’s shown in the past. But it bothers me that some fans—certainly not all of them, certainly not even a majority—take such glee in his travails. Really, you could change the names and some details and we could be talking about Matt Gunther, Ryan Idol, Billy Brandt or Jason Adonis. All of them are divas who exhibited a lot of bad behavior, no argument, and all of them were the subject of a torrent of bile as well. I do wonder if the “shame and negativity” Steve Cruz references is what fuels this kind of schadenfreude. Thoughts?

[Image © Steve Cruz.]


Comments

16 Comments so far

  1. Will on May 9, 2008 5:11 pm

    Oh God, I think you’ve opened the floodgates with that last paragraph.

  2. JC Adams on May 9, 2008 5:17 pm

    Will — I can take the heat. But, again, as I’ve said many times, I’m not saying BC did nothing wrong, or that he should not be held accountable for whatever mistakes he made. What I’m commenting on is the unrelenting bile he seems to invite, as have so many “bad boys” before him.

    Regards,
    JCA

  3. Frank on May 9, 2008 7:40 pm

    Leave it to some anonymous person to slam Steve Cruz for falling into the porn trap.
    It sounds to me that the guy is delusional,not Steve.Steve knows that he will have fans who will support him and those who don’t like him as a person or what he represents.Remember most of the porn stars have private lives outside of the industry and I respect them.If Steve Cruz comes across like a sex pig,so what? Were you expecting Steve Cruz to be a nun? C’mon lighten up!
    As for bringing up Brent Corrigan,that’s a completely different subject altogether.Brent didn’t exhibit any diva like behavior when I met him at the GAYVNS,he was very approachable and nice,just like Michael Lucas!

  4. Will on May 9, 2008 8:22 pm

    “. . .very approachable and nice, just like Michael Lucas!”

    Ball’s in your court, D.

  5. V.J. on May 9, 2008 10:03 pm

    I think that when people make comments like the one made to SC. It only shows what the person making the comment is about. No reflection at all on SC, as a matter of fact he answered it very dignified IMO.

  6. Will on May 10, 2008 2:45 am

    Don’t quite get why it is notable or newsworthy when an idiotic comment is posted on a blog. I think we all know how common that is.

  7. Pornus Addictus on May 10, 2008 4:24 am

    @Will : bingo man!

  8. Sinu' on May 10, 2008 5:50 am

    I have often wondered whether some of these dogooders would really like to swap places if they only had the criteria in the first place.

  9. Jerrod on May 10, 2008 1:11 pm

    I give Steve Cruz high credit for responding to his detractor in such a thoughtful, articulate manner. In addition, he did so in a way that demonstrated an impressive amount of dignity - and commendable understanding - for someone who would write such tripe. If Mr. Negativity was so focused on someone else’s chosen profession, he should neither purchase porn nor concern himself with those involved in it. Good for Steve! I hope readership will understand the following tongue-in-cheek quip about such critics: You may be homosexual, but you don’t have to be gay. ;-)

  10. Barry on May 11, 2008 10:48 am

    Interesting story. I have been watching porn for a long time and I think we dont consider the toxic power of envy or jealousy. I think perhaps porn “stars” are doing what a lot of gay men wish they could be doing; not so much having sex on camera for anyone to watch, but just having a certain freedom to live their lives as they see fit. Even though you probably know porn stars have just as many problems as anyone else does (this could apply to regular actors or musicians or whatever) there is a freedom they represent. And as much as some guys love jacking off to porn stars, they resent being reminded of it. (Just my two cents!)-Barry

  11. Barry on May 11, 2008 10:49 am

    P.S. And I also respect Steve Cruz for responding in a thoughtful and respectful manner.

  12. Jon on May 11, 2008 4:02 pm

    His response was well worded..but frankly is this news worthy?..I’m one who watches porn from time 2 time..it serves it’s purpose 4 me @ the moment..then i resume my life..don’t really get caught up in theses performers lives or why they decide 2 do porn…don’t even know most of there names…the gay community needs 2 start focusing on more important issues facing our country and community.

  13. Will on May 11, 2008 4:32 pm

    Oh, Jon. Just because someone has an interest in one thing doesn’t mean it’s to the exclusion of other, more important things. You’re sounding a little bit like the guy who made the stupid original post.

  14. Jon on May 14, 2008 12:56 pm

    Last I checked it was a free country Will..and can voice my opinion…if you read my post ..i said his response “was well worded”..u’re that guy i’m referring too that’s spending a liitle too much time on these porn actors and there lives…:-)

  15. Will on May 14, 2008 3:13 pm

    Jon, where do I object to you voicing your opinion? And why are you objecting to me voicing mine?

  16. droughtquake on May 14, 2008 5:47 pm

    Jon, I don’t think anyone has ever claimed that this site is at all representative of the Gay Community in general, just a porn viewing segment. They might be US-centric, but Advocate.com, PlanetOut.com, and 365Gay.com are all general interest Gay sites that might be more to your liking. (And my personal opinion, Jon: maybe you could spend some of that non-porn watching time taking some spelling lessons.)

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