Oct
10
Signage: Holy iPhones, Status Updates
October 10, 2011 | Leave a Comment
Signage: As our Constant Readers may have have noticed, I’m on a bit of a funny-signs and visual gags kick lately. Some of them are only tangentially related to the porn biz, but so what? I’m not sure where I found these. Click the links below for other recent posts in this vein.
See also:
* “Signage: Look But Don’t Touch”
* “Signage: Exit Before Tweeting“
Aug
28
Planet Porn: Vampires Suck
August 28, 2010 | 2 Comments
Planet Porn: Hunky lug Colby Keller Tweeted this earlier this morning. CLICK HERE to follow us on Twitter.
Jul
26
Monday Blues
July 26, 2010 | 4 Comments
[Image © Frenesi Films' LAY IT ON THICK, 2002.]
Mar
22
Quotable: Fun with Proofreading
March 22, 2010 | 2 Comments
Tee-hee. [Insert joke here.]
[H/T Joe.My.God.]
Aug
10
Porn Humor: Can You ‘Bear’ It?
August 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Consumer DVD retailer and amateur video distributor PornTeam.com is currently touting a big ol’ Bear Films DVD sale — “24 Bear Films DVDs Only $19.95! Offer Ends August 15th or While Supplies Last!” — and as I was skimming the titles I realized they’re among the last bastion of humor in gay adult right now. Bi films used to carry that banner, but we don’t really get many bi porn flicks anymore; PZP Productions had some fun with titles like OLIVER TWINK and THE TWINK WHISPERER, butt (typo, and I’m keeping it) they’re on an extended hiatus. Meanwhile, Bear Films is having a grand ol’ time with their titles: FREE FUR ALL (good one); MIDNIGHT GROWLERS: SLING BEARS (okay, cute); MY BEAR ASS (inevitable); THE FAST AND THE FURRIEST (okay, we’ll give ‘em that one); WOOF STRAPPED (an “A” for effort); WOOF! (keep it simple); BEAR JUICE (umm…); and BEARS WILL BE BEARS (I think we have a winnah). Why do you think studios don’t really bother with humorous titles anymore? Do you have any favorite porn title puns?
Jul
14
More ‘True Blood’ Vampire Porn
July 14, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Thanks to one of our Constant Readers, here is a long view of the three vampire-porn title Sookie Stackhouse briefly flipped through on the most recent episode of True Blood (click to embiggen). We’ve got the one gay porno (see the previous post) and two straight — INTERCOURSE WITH THE VAMPIRE (“The sexual history of vampires!”) and CO-ED CHOWDOWN (“Real fangs! Hot Vamp on vamp action!”).
Jul
13
‘True Blood’ Vampire Porn: ‘His First Fangbang’
July 13, 2009 | 4 Comments
Last night’s episode of True Blood — I go to bed dreaming of doing bad things with vampire sheriffs — at one point had Sookie in a hotel room checking out the titles of vampire porn flicks on the teevee. One of seemed like it might have been a gay porno, but it flicked by so quickly I didn’t get a good look. (And I don’t have a DVR yet.) But I found a screencap on a True Blood fan forum — CLICK HERE — and here it is for your delectation. Some fans think the cutie on the cover is the hunky-but-dimwitted Luke, Jason Stackhouse’s jealous nemesis from The Fellowship of the Sun. Eh, I don’t see it. I think he’s probably just a production assistant on the show or something.
Jun
1
When Only a Horse Speculum Will Do
June 1, 2009 | 11 Comments
Pictured, left, is a screencap of a horse speculum — aw, geez, I hope they cleaned it first — being employed to crack open the stretchable rectum belonging to yeoman performer Jack Union in a scene from SPREAD WIDE OPEN from Dark Alley Media. A hardcore preview can be seen at FistingUnderground.com, but only members get the whole dealio. “Sometimes a pig needs more than just a fist,” sez a studio rep. Bless. If a horse speculum ain’t your bag, you could just wait for next week’s release of selected scenes featuring Matthieu Paris — he don’t need no stinkin’ speculum; speculums are for pussies! — in WRECK MY MAN CUNT.
Apr
2
Margaret Cho Loves Ricky Sinz’ Penis
April 2, 2009 | 5 Comments
Via those scalawags at TheSword.com, here is a video clip of GAYVN Awards co-host Margaret Cho singing a self-penned ditty to Ricky Sinz‘ sizable member. Ms. Cho personally measured it and says it is 9.2” by 5” (“So let’s multiply that and get the volume!” Save that nugget for the next lull in your cocktail party banter. She also reveals that the pair just shot a spread for Unzipped magazine together. Lyrics so, so NSFW — Ms. Cho is filthier than any six porn stars combined. Plus, listen for Janice Dickinson‘s shriek at the very end of the clip.
Feb
27
POLL! Pick Your Fave Big City Video DVD Title
February 27, 2009 | 3 Comments
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New York’s Big City Video is carrying on the grand GayPornLand tradition of wackadoo movie titles. Which of these recent titles are your favorites? (You can pick two.) Feel free to suggest your own BCV titles in the comments section, too.
Feb
25
Sex is Funny
February 25, 2009 | 6 Comments
One of the tweaks we’ve made to the site recently was to add cartoons and other humor pieces (the single-panel cartoons we ran some weeks ago are returning soon). Our Constant Readers mostly enjoyed it; there are some who want this site to remain strictly dickly. I respect that position, but I also really, really need to laugh right now. And with GayPornLand more ridonkulous than ever — not to mention more sensitive; I just had a studio muckety-muck threaten to have me whacked over a minor detail in a recent story I mistakenly overlooked; y’know, a simple, civilized phone call would have sufficed — I think it’s time to start taking the piss out of the whole enterprise again.
Feb
5
Sex is Funny: See Dick Go Up!
February 5, 2009 | 1 Comment
Sex is Funny: Ah, Little Golden Books. I devoured the whole series in record time as a toddler; an impatient child, I taught myself how to read, so the Golden Books series, delightfully soft and gentle as they were, and remain, was simply no match for my thirst. But some of that stuff had to have lodged in my brain pain, awaiting the right moment to emerge… Yeah, this isn’t specifically porn-related (we get letters when we stray from the top-billed topic of this site) but, y’know, variety is the spice of life, boys. [H/T Asia Carrera.]
Nov
25
Sex is Funny
November 25, 2008 | 3 Comments
Starting with last week’s cartoon, and for the next several weeks, Gay Porn Times will be running Sex is Funny, a cartoon written and drawn by Baci. It’s part of several tweaks and other improvements we’re making to the site over the coming weeks ‚Äî in preparation for a big 2009 ‚Äî in order to make your time spent here a more unique experience. Cheers.
Previous installment:
* “Sex is Funny (11/18/08)“
[Art by Baci © GayPornTimes.com]
Nov
18
Sex is Funny
November 18, 2008 | 6 Comments
Housekeeping: Starting today and for the next few weeks, Gay Porn Times will be featuring “Sex is Funny ¬©“, a test run of sex/porn related cartoons written and illustrated by the singularly witty Baci (one name only, please). Let us know what you think! (In particular, please let us know how you feel about the cartoon’s size and placement on the page.) It’s part of our ongoing effort to provide fans of gay adult with a unique experience. Cheers. [Baci ¬© GayPornTimes.com.]
